The first point in the article is “You struggle with dry or dull skin.”
Ok…well I also live in Alberta [which at times feels as dry as a dessert] in an apartment building with electric heat. Seriously, even the cat is so dry the poor guy sparks when you touch him.
Next point: “You sit a little bit too much”.
Whoa…I sit too much? But I’m in the gym for two hours a day, plus I am almost always getting up from my desk every hour and if not, definitely every hour and a half. Is that not enough? Should I add in another workout? Should I think about changing careers to something where I’m standing all the time? Oh…but then would I be hurting myself by standing too much?
But then I had a thought that made me stop reading all together; when you are constantly trying to improve your life, is there ever a point where you’ve gone too far? Does constantly obsessing about making yourself the best you can be actually cause more harm then good? In other words, at what point are you good enough?
I’ve been working to improve myself in every area of my life as long as I can remember. Spending hours in the gym trying to achieve the perfect body. Forcing myself to stick to strict diets so I can say that I ‘eat clean’ because I want people to look at me as the epitome of health. Spending hours online shopping for the perfect wardrobe. And even longer obsessing over how to create the most perfectly styled home. I’ve read countless articles on how to build a happy marriage and listen to marriage podcasts almost every day because I want to be the perfect wife. And I read even more self help articles about how to be mindful so I can create a balanced life. Because at the end of the day I just want to be that happy girl with a picture perfect life.
And while there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, my initial reaction to that article made me realize I might be a bit obsessive when it comes to bettering myself. In fact, it would probably be more accurate to say I’m actually trying to perfect myself. Which is totally different. And I’m starting to think it’s becoming a problem.
I want to build the perfect physique. How can I measure that? Is it by hitting a certain weight on the scale and getting into a smaller pant size? Is it having more muscle definition then everyone else around me? Or is it going as far as being so lean that at any given moment I can take off my shirt and show off a perfect set of 6-pack abs? If I’m being totally honest with myself, most of the time a ‘perfect physique’ to me would actually be all of the above.
I want to be the epitome of clean eating and health. Again, how is that measurable? Is it not eating gluten? Or dairy? Should I be doing a juice cleanse regularly? And cut out all beverages except ‘Skinny Teas’? Maybe I should only ever eat nuts, fruits, and vegetables? And they would obviously have to be organic, locally grown, and without pesticides.
I want a to be the perfect wife. But what would make me perfect? Is it sex several times a week? Home cooked dinners every night? Date nights a couple times a month? Surprising Matt with gifts so that he is constantly reminded that I care?
I want to build the perfect capsule wardrobe/I want to create a perfectly styled home. This is one that I really struggle with. Not only are these goals totally superficial, they are also a bit unattainable. There is always going to be another pair of trendy boots I don’t have. And unless we move, my apartment will always be beige, my kitchen always a little small, and I’ll never have the beautiful hardwood floors and marble counter tops I’ve been dreaming about since going to design school.
So reading that Mind, Body, Green article was actually a bit of a sobering moment for me because it made me realize that maybe a ‘perfect life’ is never going to happen. And maybe that’s ok. Because when I take a step back and look at my life, I have so much to be thankful for.
I have a husband who loves me more then I deserve.
We have a fantastic, low maintenance apartment that has been home for 6 years now.
I have a healthy body that at any given moment allows me to do some pretty amazing stuff.
And while there is always going to be another pair of trendy boots, I have learned to be thoughtful enough with the clothing I do buy that I don’t really fall for trends any more.
So maybe instead of focusing on perfecting myself, I need to focus on accepting myself. Maybe instead of focusing on all the things that are ‘wrong’ with my life, I need to focus on all of the good things I already have. Because at the end of the day, I think perfect is subjective. I am the only one who needs to think my life is perfect. And if I’m really being honest with myself, I can’t think of a single person that I would want to trade lives with. And that’s an amazing thought because that means I am already that happy girl with a beautifully perfect life.